i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
