I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
