New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
do nipples grow back?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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