this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
