Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
