He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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