Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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