What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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