I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize