but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Are we still banned from the library?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
