she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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