all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
