i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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