Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
