just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
