my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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