I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
you made out with another girl for some wings
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
