Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
