I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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