You're my little dorito
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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