Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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