I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
