There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
