are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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