i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
