I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
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