My girlfriend figured out who you are.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just want to make out with him forever
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
