i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
