She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
