I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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