Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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