I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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