We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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