He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Dignity is for republicans.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
