You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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