WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
