What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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