You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
