singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
