I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
