i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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