STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
