Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
