guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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