what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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