we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
