i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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