Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
