True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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