I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
