i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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