I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
