Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
