your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Randomize
