my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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