What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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