everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
