Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
