Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize