Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize