whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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