I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
