The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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