Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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