is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
