Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
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you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
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Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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