I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
